Supernatural Chili
by That Person You Wanna Punch
Summary: There's a demon holding a couple hostage and the brothers must work together- and make chili? Who knew Dean could cook. CRACK FIC! You have been warned! R&R!


**Supernatural Chili**

**Written By: That Person You Wanna Punch**

**WARNING: Crack fic, you have been warned.**

* * *

><p>"Sam! It's Dean! I need you man, I'm over at the motel room, there's trouble! If you get this, come over now! Hurry!"<p>

As soon as Sam Winchester got the voicemail from his older brother he hurried over to the motel as fast as he could. Dean's car was still sitting in the parking lot, which told him he didn't drive off—but also told him that he may not have had the chance too. As soon as Sam climbed the staircase he saw the front door to the room wasn't scuffed up or broken—which told him whatever struggle Dean was in never made it outside the room.

"Damn it, Dean, please be okay!" Sam exclaimed as he busted up the front door.

His eyes widened and he gasped dramatically—

Standing in the kitchen, stirring big black pot on top of the stove burner was Dean, singing along to the radio which played ACDC. The older Winchester noticed his younger brother. Dean nodded, "What's up?"

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed, "What the hell? What's going on?"

He sprinkled some salt into the pot. "I'm making chili."

Sam closed the front door of the motel and stepped inside. "What? What was that phone call about?" he demanded.

Dean sprinkled in some pepper. "I need you to cut a red onion for me." Sam gave him a hard stare. He shrugged, "Sammy, you know onions make my eyes water. You don't want to see your older brother cry, do you?"

"Damn it Dean!" Sam yelled. "You had me scared man! I thought you were in trouble! I thought you were being attacked! But no, you're just making stupid chili!"

Dean smacked Sam with his wooden spoon. "_This_ is no ordinary chili. This is demon-slaying chili, dad's own recipe," he said matter-of-factly.

Sam rubbed his arm. Wooden spoons hurt. "What? How can chili slay demons?"

"It's all in the technique." He handed Sam an index card.

Sam snatched it and started reading. "One cup of tomatoes, two diced red onions, three cups of shredded beef... Dean this is an ordinary chili recipe!"

"No Sam! It's dad's recipe! And he's used it to slay demons!"

The younger Winchester couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Well how come dad never showed me how to make demon slaying chili?"

Dean laughed. "Cause you couldn't handle the chili."

"DEAN!"

"Okay! He only trusted me with the recipe, Sam. This pot of chili right here, it's more powerful than all our ammunition, rock salt, and guns combined. This chili is so badass only someone as equally badass as me can cook it."

Sam groaned. "Fine. Whatever Dean. I'm out of here." He turned and started to head for the door.

"Sammy wait! I can't make this chili without you!" Dean cried.

"Too bad," he growled.

"We're brothers Sam! Dad would've wanted us to make the chili together! Together as brothers!"

Sam stopped walking. He turned around and faced Dean. "Why are you making the chili in the first place?"

"You know the couple we were investigating down a couple of blocks from here?"

"Yeah."

"Well, they've got a serious demon problem. And this is the only way we can save them."

"By making chili?"

"No Sam, by making chili together, as brothers!"

Sam sighed. "Alright, I'll cut the onion."

Dean fist pounded the air.

* * *

><p>Finally after six hours of the Winchesters dicing, slicing, sautéing, simmering, tasting, and spicing their dad's secret chili, they were finally ready to take on the demon. "Hey Dean, how are we supposed to use the chili on the demons anyway? Should I put this in a container or something?" Sam asked.<p>

"No, if we put that chili in a container that's just another apocalypse waiting to happen. Here, we'll put the chili in here." Dean handed his brother a Hello Kitty water gun. Sam gave him a look, WTF clearly written on his face. He wasn't sure what was more puzzling, the fact that they were putting chili in water guns, or the fact the water guns had the design of Hello Kitty. "Just do it," he ordered. Sam rolled his eyes and started pouring chili inside. "Hey wait, I want the ChocoCat water gun," Dean said.

"Too bad," Sam replied.

"Ugh! Sammy! That's not fair, you get ChocoCat and I'm stuck with My Melody who is just a stupid bunny!"

"No Dean, I got ChocoCat fair in square." Choked sobs filled the air. Sam groaned, "You're not seriously crying!"

"I just want the ChocoCat water gun," Dean whimpered.

Sam groaned and switched guns. "THERE."

"Hell yeah!" Dean cheered, happy once again. "Now let's go kill some demons!"

* * *

><p>The couple as Sam and Dean referred to, were Ivan and Jessica Bumslut. They were tied up in their house and since the two always did pot they figured this was some weird trip. The demon, who was inhabiting the body of a young woman, was starting to wish she picked another victim. These two people were driving her crazy.<p>

However the demon was about to be put out of her misery, because right at the moment she was about to kill Ivan and Jessica Bumslut, Sam and Dean crashed through the window, chili guns pointed and ready to fire!

"Jessica, look! It's the ghost busters!" Ivan exclaimed.

"I'm so turned on!" Jessica wailed.

The demon turned to the brothers. "Winchesters! I should've known you two would show up!" she hissed. She cracked her knuckles and glared at them with a challenging stare. "When I kill you two, I'm going to— are those water guns filled with _chili_?"

"Not just ordinary chili!" Dean proclaimed in a dramatic voice, "Supernatural chili!"

Sam and Dean then fired off their Hello Kitty weaponry, firing the chili straight at the demon! She howled loudly and screamed as the whole house started the shake roughly! And then the demon exploded, the chili sending her back to hell!

"Holy crap, that chili actually worked!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "It was because we cooked the chili together… as brothers."

Sam nodded. "Yeah. Hey you want to go eat at Chili's?"

"Do they serve beer?"

"Yeah."

"Cool."

Looking as awesome and sexy as ever, the two man steaks left the house, forgetting about the couple and leaving the Bumsluts tied up. Oh well, who the hell cares about two pot-heads? Sam and Dean Winchester were too good looking anyway.

**The End**

**Author's Note: **

**There was some Supernatural crack for ya. Love it, hate it, whatever, I don't expect any reviews. Just here to make y'all laugh ;D **

**Signed, **

**That Person You Wanna Punch  
><strong>


End file.
